This week I am registering my youngest for preschool. This will be the last time I ever register one of my babies for preschool. Do I have to send him to kindergarten? Can preschool last forever? I am both excited and sad about this moment. My excitement exists because I know how much he wants to go to school with his sisters. He cannot wait to board that big, yellow bus. But, a chapter of my life will be closing.

I still remember like it was yesterday. We were leaving the hospital. The sweet volunteer asked, “Is this your first baby?” My husband and I paused and looked at one another. We replied he was our third. We had little sleep in those 48 hours, but we couldn’t contain our excitement, still on a high from his birth, still in disbelief. Zachary completed our family. The girls knew our next baby would be a puppy, but they were excited to have a baby brother too.

As I fill out his paperwork and submit my final preschool registration payment, I am left with these bittersweet feelings. Our final year of preschool is going to be filled with growth and excitement. New adventures and friends. My goal is just to be present and enjoy my time with Zach. Read lots of stories, play in the sandbox, and watch him explore the world around him. And try not to cry too hard when I have to finally let him grown up and be a big boy.

There are some things I was happy to say goodbye to:

• the diaper bag
• the infant car seat after it weighed 30 lbs.
• our swing (I loved it, but tripped over it more than once)

Other things I already miss:

• the new baby smell and caring for a baby
• all of the first
  • rolling over
  • steps
  • words